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Mi Familia

Due to the pandemic, families have been unable to associate with one another. I did not do our usual this year’s Valentine’s Day. I did send them Valentine’s cards with money for my grandkids to go to the dollar store so they could buy what they wanted from the whole store. I would always take them to the dollar store when I visit them let them to let them buy anything, they wanted with a limit of 5 items for each of them. They are young enough to enjoy that treat. It thrills me too see them get excited. I missed seeing those wide eyes and big smiles.

So again, for Easter, we did not gather. I missed the whole event. Still under strict restrictions. On Easter, we all get together and prepare all sorts of goodies and main courses. For example, glazed mustard sweet Ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, sweet yams in marshmallow cream. I use heavy cream whipped from the carton, homemade kind, you need to get that recipe, if you want it contact me. It’s so good. Especially when it is still quite warm. Corn or if available corn on the cob, cooked and placed on the grill and charred. Sometimes placed on chopped sticks for an easy to hold grip and can’t get away cob. We eat our corn with Mexican fine queso fresco cheese, parmesan powered cheese, mayonnaise or sour cream, to spread on the corn cob and roll it in the powered cheeses, sprinkled with Tapatio sauce or powered cayenne pepper. OMG! So good!

My daughter-in-law makes the best Italian macaroni and cheese. The kids just love it! By the end of our celebration time, it’s gone. Lots and lots food. Chicken legs and thighs cooked in Mexican chili sauce, Mexican fried rice, and wouldn’t freshly homemade corn tortillas be a huge treat! Too much work. So, we just warm them up store bought ones. Yes… I know, not the same. We then bow our heads and give thanks for the opportunity for all of us gathered together demostrando our love for one another and how joyful is that?

After enjoying food feast, Nana has prepared a game. Mothers have prepared confetti eggs, colored them and normally we’ve prepared like 6 to 10 dozen egg cartons worth of them. At home or at Nanas house, we have shelled eggs we have carefully removed the egg from inside, rinsed them, let them dry, after you have accumulated as many eggs as you want, they are colored by the grandkids, Nana makes a party for the kids and Grandkids of all ages.  More food, this party is prepared before the Easter celebration. The eggs are drawn upon, pictures, kids draw flowers on them, any design the kids or adults joining us would like to draw on them or design them. Kids and adults can keep or take home only one egg if they choose to. Later after all of them are done and dried, Magically, you will see them on Easter, sealed from the top with tissue paper, upside down displayed inside opened egg cartons.

We would all grab what we wanted and discreetly and gently break them on people’s heads. Some of us have no hair on our heads and so it hurts more, I would request that everyone break egg in hand before hitting it on head. Breaking an egg on an individual represents your blessings. The colorful confetti are the many blessings bestowed upon you by that individual. So only break the egg on those who you love. What a colorful mess that was to clean. We’d see confetti on the lawn for months, rain would wash it away. I loved and now miss with all my heart, the laughter of the children and the adults running around trying to catch each other to break the confetti egg on each other. This was always a special time for me.  I miss this part of Easter so much. Sometimes I would make pinatas in shape is eggs, a baby chick, or other Easter characters. This was so much fun too! Both children and adults would give it a couple of hits and down came the candy. I would try to make it hard to break. But someone strong enough would break it. Then after someone would crack it, I’d have a smaller child hit it open. So much fun!

 

Before everyone left, I would give everyone, children and adults, an Easter goodie bag. This would be another thing I would have to stay up and do a day before because I put fruit in it and keep it fresh.  I would have to keep the tangerines fresh and separated from the peanuts, otherwise the peanuts would pick up the moisture from the fruit and become soggy. So, I would have to prepare them a day ahead of time. I would buy salty peanuts, the kids liked them better than the non-salty ones. When my Grandkids where little they would suck off the salt from the peanuts and place them back in the package. It was cute then, now they eat the peanuts too and we laugh about it.  I would also buy candy and little surprises and place them in the goodie bags. This is a tradition my Mother used to do for us when we were little. She would surprise us on Easter Sunday morning with tin baskets full of goodies, we’d all get ready for church and go to the Easter egg hunt after church with our tin baskets in hand.  My Mother would make every holiday special for us. My Mother also explained what these goodies represented blessed blessings from God. The Oranges, I used tangerines, they represented health, the peanuts represented wealth, the candies represented sweet surprises in life. The little surprises represented offspring. “SURPRISE” your pregnant! I would place stuffed animals in the bags. Back in the day, offspring was always welcomed to couples… In fact, one year I did not make goodie bags and the adults missed them and mentioned it to me, they missed my goodie bags. So, I continue to make them. They were still delivered this year even though we could not gather together. I am saddened to hear that the COVID 19 is going to last until people stop spreading this disease. I thank my creator that no one in my family has caught this Virus. I pray for everyone on earth to be protected and for the healing needed to put an end to this pandemic.

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Its Not You Its Trauma

How does trauma effect you? Unfortunately, it effects your life’s decisions. Knowingly and sub-conscionably. After a life changing severe trauma, it doesn’t only change your life, it also changes your body, re-shapes our cells.  If that isn’t enough, it damages and alters our mindset, how can we tell if we are making the right decisions in picking the right relationship? Sometimes we make the same mistakes repeatedly. When trying to heal, do not linger with the symptoms of your experiences with trauma which include preventing you from doing what is your regular daily activities.

It’s a problem when being stuck in a state of panic, procrastination, or depression. But thanks to new research and treatment strategies, it is more possible than ever to emerge from this darkness.

Many therapists and as an Olympian Life Coach, I had noticed a pattern of behavior in some of my clients. I realized after many years of working with them and trying to help others, that most everyone had gone through an experience that kept them from moving forward.

When I asked why, these clients, most of them, had something in common, something very bad had happen to them.  They could not achieve their goals or keep a job, they would start a job and within a short time span, they would quit or lose that job. They did give me many excuses, “they did not like me”, “I did not like them”. “I could not get them to understand how I felt”, “I called them names, so they fired me.”

Trauma not only effects our brains and ability to function, it effects our emotions. Trauma has even embedded itself in our bodies. We slouch, some of us walk with our heads down, heavy stressful moments can affect our nervous system, and we can react with extreme anxiety, or feel like we cannot breathe. Trauma not only clings to us but it makes us feel impaired, sometimes permanently, unable to process what is going on around us, feeling different, and not understanding why.

Is there a healing from all that darkness? Each of us has a different way of dealing with life. I believe it is how we were raised. What kind of childhood did you have? Hard knocks teach us at a young age, how to cope with what was been handed to us. A popular phase is “if all your get is lemons, make lemonade”!

What worked for me just might not work for you. I was raised in what westerners call a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father. So, I was around a lot of arguments and violence. I felt as I was growing up, this was just a normal way of life. My Mom always encouraged us (large family of 14) to do better and make a better life for ourselves. She always said, “I don’t want you to end up, like me.” She was always giving us good advice. I now wished I would of listened more and applied what safety suggestions she offered. My mom knew best what she really did not want us to wind up with. Now I wished I would’ve listened.

Different people make different choices, especially if you do not know what has caused this bad behavior, especially when before all the trauma, you were achieving many things. What happened? Seeing a therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist could help, unfortunately they may want to get you on some medication, that might help or just slow your brain down. That is something to think about. I feel the best way is to heal without meds. But really the decision is up to the individual.

Healing could come from talking about your experience with others who have overcome the trauma, and some do. The trauma never goes away, but you learn to live around it, disabling its power over you and your life. There are now many different types of support groups out there. Do some research on the Internet and look for what is right for you.

Taking the wires of your brain and re-routing them to re-connect though meditation, can reconnect you to a more active life. No longer being a victim to it. Not letting the trauma or that experience take the best of you.

 

 

 

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Create Your Own Happiness

Happiness is sometimes like winning the lottery, money could certainly help to create your own happiness. Will it last? I am sure you have heard those statistics, you’d be able to afford a car, a house, even if you have to make a monthly payment. But that’s materialism. You can get tired of your car happiness or your house when they will need repairs, maintenances cost money.

A relationship? Something is better than nothing right? WRONG! Everyone comes with their own baggage. Even if you feel like you’re in love! “I wish I had a person to share my life with”, “sigh”😒. Later you will be like…” I wish I had never met this person!” (YEP!) This could happen, even if you checked the pendulum, and it keeps saying “Yep, this is the one!”

Happiness comes when it is right for YOU! You can choose to be happy that’s a good daily choice to make every day. is that reality? Not really. it takes a lot of effort to choose happiness and stick to your plan.

Everyday makes a difference, especially, when it comes to what is right for you. Such as expressing your anger and basing happiness on being with another person. As soon as you step into a pathway to be more conscious, choosing happiness is the first step of happiness. So, don’t worry if you think, “I am not happy every day”. Instead, think of the choice that every day brings to you, making the conscious effort to move away from your suffering, pain, or thoughts bringing you down.

As emotional beings, we are hardwired to connect with others. Is it a good strategy to base happiness on being with a significant other? This is when you base your choice to consciously be happy. You will every single moment, bring yourself your own happiness and learn that you are not reliant or counting on your significant other to feel good or for your happiness. It is you!

You are to count on yourself for your happiness and it is your responsibility for yourself and not others to make YOU happy! We need to stop blaming others… you have choices. It could affect you, yes… you must remember that you are learning to “consciously not count on being reliant on your significant other or others for your happiness or feeling good”.

I believe we are all at this moment…right now…and in every way totally in our inner magnificent brilliance conscious to be happy.

The first step to start building the happiness framework is to find a quiet place where no one will disturb you. Be silent, take in 3 deep breaths, clear your lungs with each breath. On the 4th breath, hold it to the count of 6 in your mind and release slowly…think of a place where you can focus or inspire you, like for example; start thinking of a calm, ripely lake, focus on the beginning of a vision to be perceived by your calm vision of inspiration, you can even see yourself floating in a canoe or boat, feeling the warmth from the sun on your body. Next, open the frequency of your heart. Unburden your heart of any turbulent static, encircling the heart with the divine white light all around it and feel the warmth of healing the hurt, pain and suffering.  Then, feel the heart inspired to act like a boat on top of the calm lake easily absorbing and dispersing any emotionally charged waves releasing them from your heart, and any other peace disturbing waves of energy, leaving you in a state of enriched relaxation and creating a protective shield enabling you to reach your own rightful happiness.

Repeat as needed.